F*ck Up

This is the first song I'm releasing! It's officially a "single", I guess. And I wanted to write this post about where I talk about the song, break it down, and share what created it.

So here are the lyrics first:

Lyrics

I know I'm fucking up

I'm here in this room

I know I'm fucking up

I can't seem to find my words at all

At all

I know I said too much

How's this not enough?

I know I'm fucking up

And I can't seem to find my words at all

At all

Every now and then I break down.

And that's it! Lyrics-wise, the song is not very complex.

About the song

I originally wrote this song back in 2010. This song is really about the mistakes we make, and how we live with them.

It's the typical "forgive but don't forget" idea where you try to apologize for your actions, maybe for something you said, and sometimes you just can't really find the words that make up your apology. Even after you apoligize, maybe you the other person didn't understand you or maybe you didn't actually make much sense.

Stringing a sincere apology can be really difficult. I know I had my share of hard apologies to make and I can confirm not all of them went smoothly or even that I made sense. That's the feeling and idea I tried to put into the song.

The last part of the song that repeats "every now and then I break down", is about not forgetting about you did. Every now and then, the past has a way of creeping up on us, and it can be the simplest of things, really. Maybe a song, an episode of a tv show, or a phrase, take us back to that moment. And it hurts. As time goes on, it hurts a little less, but that pain will probably always be there.

Structure of the song

As a song, "F*ck up" itself is very, very simple. It's really two chords over and over, the "E" and "A" chords. I don't really know anything about music theory, so I can't really tell you much about the variations of the chords, but after some research, I can tell you it's an Emaj7 and a Amaj7sus2(#11) chords. Who knew?! Not me.

A lot of my songs are really just two chords (or very few changes). The main reason is because I was listening to a podcast or maybe it was a YouTube video, where apparently Lou Reed from Velvet Underground said:

One chord is fine. Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you're into jazz. - Lou Reed

And I do believe he was merely exaggerating, maybe being sarcastic, but I do believe the point was "simplicity can be great". So I tried to take this into account, so as to not overcomplicate my songs.

Coming back to the song, there are 4 sections:

1. A verse

2. A chorus

3. A bridge

4. An outro

And you can find them in the song in the following order:

1. Verse 1

2. Chorus

3. Verse 2

4. Chorus

5. Bridge

6. Chorus
   

The verses are essentially alike, alternating between the two chords I described earlier. And the chorus is a progression from the two chords but in a more "power-pop" style with a short stay in the G#. So it goes E-G#-A, the goes backwards A-G#-E. Again, suuuuper simple. But that's my style, girl!

The bridge is definitely a departure from the other parts of the song. I got the idea of the solo, and it's a couple of notes I loop over twice. Because the solo is really just a couple of notes, I wanted it to sound powerful and not really delicate or precise, so I did wham on those notes while muting the other strings around the notes I was playing. The background continues to be the chorus section, but I wanted to change it and got the idea of turning the chorus into a dance beat. Luckily things worked out! And I do really like how the solo, the chorus and the dance beat meshed together.

Finally the last chorus and outro is supposed to be more frenetic and louder, so you can hear more cymbals, more drum fills, and a higher vocal.

Recording the song

Like all of my songs, this song was recorded in my apartment. I only have the basic recording tools, with a very common daw system, a couple of Shure sm57 and sm58 microphones and my guitars.

"F*ck" up went through a couple of re-recordings, actually. I'm not the most skilled musician or singer, so I always had some imperfection to my playing or singing. Over the many sessions, I did improve some parts, and some parts I just left as is, because I'm not trying to be perfect. My biggest issue was, and continues to be, singing all notes on-key. So I did re-record my vocals A LOT of times. At one point I had like 4 or 5 vocal layers but then decided to stick with just two layers, and that's what you hear today!

I've been using Logic Pro X for a couple of years now, but I've only just began taking courses to improve my mixing and mastering techniques, so I am still new at many areas of the recording and production process. So I am relying very heavily on Logic's presets and sounds, from guitars, bass, drums, and vocal effects. The grungiest sound I got was the solo guitar, but I'd say the rest of the guitars have a fairly standard distortion sound.

And that's it for now!

I hope you enjoyed this little break down, and let me know in the comments what you think! Is there anything I missed you want to know more about? Or just comment with whatever comments or questions you may have and I'll get back to you!